Dear Savvy Senior,
I want to leave something meaningful for my children and grandchildren, beyond just money or property. I’ve heard about “legacy letters,” but I don’t really know what they are or how to start one. Can you help?
Legacy Seeker
Dear Seeker,
You’re asking a wonderful question. A legacy letter – sometimes called an ethical will – is a personal note to your loved ones where you can share your values, life lessons, cherished memories, hopes, and guidance. Unlike a traditional will, which focuses on legal matters, a legacy letter comes straight from the heart.
Why write one?
Many people think a legacy is just money or property. But often, it’s your words, values, and life lessons that leave the deepest mark. A legacy letter gives your family something to hold on to – your stories, your traditions, and the experiences that shaped who you are. Children and grandchildren often return to these letters for comfort, guidance, or inspiration long after you’re gone. In many ways, it becomes an emotional last will and testament, answering some of the most important questions about your life.
A legacy letter can also help explain the “why” behind your estate plan in a personal, thoughtful way. While a will handles the legal and financial details, a legacy letter adds context – why you made certain decisions or what you hope your loved ones will do with what you leave behind. That added perspective can ease misunderstandings, strengthen family connections, and leave a lasting sense of closeness.
Getting started
Take a moment to reflect on what matters most to you. Consider asking yourself:
What values or principles have guided my life?
What moments or experiences am I most grateful for?
What mistakes or regrets taught me the most?
How do I hope to be remembered by my loved ones?
What lessons, advice, or guidance do I want to leave for my family?
Which family traditions, stories, or dreams do I want future generations to carry forward?
Keep it personal and sincere. You can write one letter or several for different family members. Most letters run one to three pages, though there’s no strict rule.
If you’d like a little guidance as you get started, Trust & Will has a free legacy letter writing guide with step-by-step prompts to help you organize your thoughts and begin writing. You can find it at trustandwill.com/learn/legacy-letter-writing-guide.
If writing isn’t your thing, consider creating a legacy video. Speak directly to your loved ones, sharing stories, guidance, and heartfelt reflections. Most smartphones now record high-quality video and sound, making it easy to create, store, and share. A video captures your voice, expressions, and surroundings in a way that a letter simply can’t.
Storing and sharing
Keep letters or videos in a safe, easy-to-find spot. Physical letters can go in a secure file, safe, or with your attorney, while digital files can be backed up to the cloud or an external drive. You can share them now or wait until later, after you’re gone. Be sure to include instructions in your will so family members know where to find them.
When it comes down to it, a legacy letter or video is truly the heart behind your will. It gives you the chance to share your values, tell your stories, and even explain the intentions behind your estate plan, leaving your loved ones with words that will matter long after you are gone. Written with generosity, empathy, and positivity, a few thoughtful pages or a short video can create an emotional imprint that money alone cannot provide.
Journalist and senior advocate Jim Miller is the creator of Savvy Senior, a weekly information column devoted to older adults that appears in more than 250 U.S. newspapers and magazines. He is also the author of The Savvy Senior: The Ultimate Guide to Health, Family and Finances for Senior Citizens (Hyperion) and is frequently featured in major media outlets, including Time, USA Today, The New York Times, CNBC and CNN.
