We’ve all watched it happen a hundred times — a child is given a cupcake, and instead of taking a well-balanced bite, they dive straight into the frosting. They might proceed to lick it off, use a finger or utensil (unlikely) to shovel it off, or simply stick their teeth right in to bite it off, but they’re going for the frosting first and foremost.
The rush to the sugar, resulting in a sugar rush.
The cupcake, cake, cinnamon roll, or whatever it is becomes less an entire entity to be enjoyed and more a vehicle for the frosting. The kid cares only about devouring the frosting, no matter how carefully the baker planned the ratio of cake to frosting or thought about how they want the components to work together.
I witnessed this travesty at a party just yesterday with — dare I admit it — my own son. It was a beautiful slice of homemade white birthday cake, two layers of moist cake with a tender crumb surrounded by ample but not overwhelming buttercream: a very appropriate cake experience. That little fork went like a magnet directly to the edges, poking and pecking away until all traces of white and pink frosting were gone. He was noncommittal about the remainder of the cake, in his opinion having harvested the portion of greatest value.
I want to be offended, but it seems Benson is not impervious to the temptations of his age. My nephew did the exact same thing right beside him; around the room were the tell-tale signs of similar misdemeanors, like bald cupcakes now topped only with teeth marks and streaks of frosting on small noses and cheeks.
To be fair, the opposite transgression is often sighted in the generations above. When I think of those who reject frosting to enjoy cake on its lonesome, my mom comes first to mind. She has some notoriety in our family for not liking things to be very sweet (although she herself is quite sweet), and it’s hard to think of anything much sweeter than frosting. It would be a shock to the system to see her at a cake-eating event without a pile of frosting scraped on the side of her plate.
The proper ratio is also disrupted here by favoring cake without any frosting…but since I clearly inherited some of Mom’s tendencies, I tend to see this side of the situation as less of an indecency (with the exception of caramel frosting on cinnamon rolls, in which at least a small amount is crucial).
In fact, I ruin the whole equation by not even liking cake very much and therefore typically preferring to eat neither component. (Give me ice cream or fruit instead of cake any day!)
Add dark chocolate to the mix, however, and it changes everything. The kids and I are out in Ohio visiting my parents this week while Brian is doing the farming thing and living in tractor/combine cabs, so of course I made my mom a chocolate birthday cake like I always do, just a couple weeks late. I should make the cake without any frosting (and I do sometimes), but it’s hard to make it look quite as special without any, so I usually just explore different options.
This year a super chocolatey double-decker recipe caught my eye with sweet corn blended in the batter and popcorn adorning the top — along with a double chocolate ganache. It may be sweet, but not like regular frosting; herein we find the answer to our frosting dilemma (as well as many of life’s other quandaries), in simply, dark chocolate.
Just don’t sit too close to my kids if you want any.
Frosting for Everyone, aka Whipped & Drizzled Chocolate Ganache
I decorated the cake with the littles in close proximity, and it was a losing battle to keep those fingers out of the ganache — handing over the beaters and spatula only temporarily distracted their ravenous desire for more frosting. But who am I to argue, it’s just chocolate after all! Fortunately it was just as easy to make and spread as it was to eat.
Prep tips: the melted chocolate shouldn’t be too warm or too chilled when you whip it, but you should be good to go as long as it’s cool to the touch and not hardening up.
• 8 ounces dark chocolate, chopped
• 6 ounces heavy cream, whole milk, or combination of
• ½ teaspoon salt, plus coarse salt for sprinkling
• small splash of vanilla
Melt chocolate with cream gently on the stovetop or in intervals in the microwave; stir in the salt and vanilla. Reserve about a fourth of the chocolate, setting it aside, and refrigerate the remainder for about 15 minutes or until cooled but not cold. Using an electric mixer, whip the cooled chocolate until fluffy and lightened in both color and texture, 2-3 minutes. Spread this on your cake (it’s enough for a two-tier 8” cake if you don’t do the sides, which you shouldn’t or it will be too much frosting), and then drizzle with reserved unwhipped chocolate and top with a sprinkle of coarse salt.
Amanda Miller lives with her husband, two young children, and whoever else God brings them through foster care on the family dairy farm in Hutchinson. She enjoys doing some catering, teaching cooking classes, and freelancing, but mostly chasing after her kids. Reach her at hyperpeanutbutter@gmail.com.
