“That’s not fair!!” If we were keeping a tally of the most common things children say to their parents, this classic phrase would have to be somewhere at the tip-top of the list.

Unless your kids are somehow not as concerned with fairness as mine are, to which I say, of course, “That’s not fair!”

I wrote last week about how big of a deal the Kansas State Fair is to my kids. This kind of fair, however, is yet infinitely more important to them. They’ve redefined the term — or rather, they are in a constant state of redefinition to fit the situation and their own personal preferences in the moment. As is human nature, unpolished and unhidden in childish transparency, “fairness” is often equated with “whatever works best for me.”

Cries of unfairness rarely erupt from the kid receiving something better or bigger than his or her sibling, but oh forbid the torment if something — anything — is perceived as not exactly the same or less than brother’s or sister’s. Kiah and Benson are almost three years apart, so often things are different based simply on age and ability, in addition to the fact that they aren’t the same person anyway and don’t always need exactly the same thing in every context.

Not to mention I am a fallible human being myself, and in iniquitous instances I might accidentally tear the piece of gum not precisely in half, forget whose turn it was for something, or give one of them a gram more of applesauce than the other. “Mom! That’s not fair!” And let’s not get started on the heinous indecency of things that come in different colors or sizes, or things like birthday gifts that are only given to the birthday child. No matter if the shoes only fit one of them or they liked that flavor of sucker better yesterday.

Bless their hearts.

And mine, let’s be honest; I need it.

Perhaps particularly so in the moments when I hear my own parents’ words coming out of my mouth, the ones I myself hated to hear… “Oh well, life isn’t fair.” (Although some level of fairness is served, since it’s only fair that I have to deal with this now on the other side after inflicting it on my parents so well.)

And yes, on certain days I do count out the exact number of grapes or carrot slices before packing them up — in individual containers of the same color, because it’s also never fair if one kid gets to hold the bag. Some mornings I can see before they even get to the breakfast table that I better get them the same color of bowl or there will be major repercussions. I even have been known, more often than I like to admit, to put the lid back on the raisins and put them back in the cupboard just so the other kid can get them out too. Otherwise it would be so unfair, you know.

But that’s also the point other times. It ain’t fair and I don’t care. As the wisdom of age will bring eventually, life in its very nature is unfair, something we in our privileged lives rarely consider. There is always someone with more and always someone with less. Fairness is in fact not the goal; contentment is, for it makes what we have enough.

Something tells me I’ll be adding that to the most common phrases tally sheet.

Don’t Be a Monster Cookies

I knew whatever I would make would be fair game for cries of unfairness, but cookies with differing amounts and colors of M&Ms are even more disruptive. True to form, there were squabbles over who got to measure the ingredients and who could see better before the dough was even formed — but we did work things out and baked some delicious treats. Perhaps the sweetness is spreading, since the kids didn’t actually argue about whose cookie had more M&Ms…yet.

Prep tips: we used homemade peanut butter straight out of the blender and it worked great, so I would think any type of peanut butter should work well. And if you measure it by weight, you don’t have to make a measuring cup dirty!

• 2 cups (18 ounces) peanut butter
• 5 ounces butter, soft
• 1 ⅓ cups white sugar
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 4 eggs
• 6 cups regular oats
• 1 tablespoon baking soda
• a splash vanilla
• ½ cup toasted coconut
• 2 cups M&Ms

Cream peanut butter, butter, and sugars. Beat in eggs one at a time, then dump in oats, baking soda, vanilla, and coconut, mixing well. Stir in M&Ms, then chill for an hour or so. Scoop out by anywhere from 2-4 tablespoons on baking sheets. Bake at 350° for 10-14 minutes until lightly browning; cool on pans a few minutes before transferring to cooling racks.

Lettuce Eat Local is a weekly local foods column by Amanda Miller, who lives in rural Reno County on the family dairy farm with her husband and three small children. She seeks to help build connections through food with her community, the earth, and the God who created it all. Send feedback and recipe ideas to hyperpeanutbutter@gmail.com.