I’m having a hard time keeping my laptop on top of my lap to type. As Benson and Kiah could attest for months now, there just isn’t much room there. They question so often if I can do something “with that pregnant belly” that it makes me wonder if Kiah even remembers what it’s like to have a mom without a baby growing inside.

When you read this, however, I expect to be a mom with a baby growing on the outside, and with my lap full of a newborn instead of a belly. At the time of this writing, we are fully in the hurry-up-and-wait prenatal stage; by the time it’s printed, however, we will be at the beginning of postpartum. I’ve been preparing myself for Baby Miller #3 to be a week late like the other two, yet I’ve also been full-term for a couple weeks now, so I know I shouldn’t be entirely unprepared. We should be ready! But not too ready!

Even though this isn’t our first rodeo, there is still much unknown. We don’t know when it’s coming, how cooperative it plans to be getting out, if it’s a boy or girl, what exactly its name will be. We have diapers and the changing table is set up again, but the bassinet gets in the way so I haven’t set it up yet, and most of the newborn clothes are waiting to be unpacked until we know which set to use.

Both other kids were born not breathing — Benson was cold and floppy, Kiah was warm and floppy — so I would really like a breathing, non-floppy baby this time, but we just can’t plan on that either. Green Bean is already giving us some concern with heartbeat irregularity, so we just don’t know.

There are, however, a lot of things we do know. For one, we love this child already, and that the Lord who gave him or her to us loves them even more than we do; that can sound cliche, but the reality of it isn’t.

We know I’ll have to fight Kiah for the baby, as her mothering instinct is so strong. She may back off when she realizes Green Bean will be taking some of her previous youngest-child privileges, but if I can maintain primary holding and diaper-changing roles, we’re going to have to call that a win. I’m sure she will attempt breastfeeding as well, so that will be interesting.

Speaking of breastfeeding, we also know from prior experience that I will be suddenly very hungry. There is so much baby squashing my stomach right now that it’s hard to feel like I can fit much of any food in, but when Miller #3 exits and requires being fed often, my caloric expenditure and desire will jump appreciably.

This is how I know I’ll need chocolate cake. For both of the other two, I planned ahead with chocolate bean cake, also sharing the recipes with you all. This time I changed tune slightly, putting the focus more on trendy cottage cheese (or the homesteader version with homemade ricotta); I’m not a standard cake kind of gal, and this is not a standard cake. I’m sure you’re astonished.

I anticipate it being a good kind of cake, however, to eat with one hand while holding a newborn babe in the other — and that makes it a very good cake indeed.

Hazelnut Cottage Protein Cake

This texture is closer to brownies, but also not; whatever you call it, it’s an easy way to get some quick protein + chocolate in, whether you just had a baby or not. I made it in a slightly small batch so I could bake it in my toaster oven instead of turning on the oven in this heat, but you could always double the recipe and make an 8x8” pan instead. If baby doesn’t come soon, I’ll freeze a few pieces to tide me over until I can make another batch.

Prep tips: the hazelnut syrup amplifies the nutella flavors nicely, but maple syrup would also be great here. If I’d had hazelnuts on hand, I definitely would have thrown some in too.

8 ounces cottage cheese or ricotta

¼ cup hazelnut-flavored or maple syrup

2 eggs

good splash vanilla

½ cup cocoa powder

½ cup almond flour

¼ cup protein powder of choice

for topping: chocolate-hazelnut spread (aka Nutella)

Blend cheese with syrup, eggs, and vanilla until smooth. Blend in remaining ingredients just until combined, adding a splash of milk if batter seems too thick. Spread into buttered loaf pan, and bake at 350° for around 25 minutes, or until set in the center. Let cool fully, then spread liberally with nutella. Store in the fridge in an easy-access container.

Lettuce Eat Local is a weekly local foods column by Amanda Miller, who lives in rural Reno County on the family dairy farm with her husband and two small children. She seeks to help build connections through food with her community, the earth, and the God who created it all. Send feedback and recipe ideas to hyperpeanutbutter@gmail.com.